'"Thank you" is the best prayer that anyone could say.' – Alice Walker

The reason I'm feeling thankful tonight is because I haven't had a migraine in a week and a half (knock on wood). This is despite doing several things in the past week that often would lead to a migraine: shopping in the city all day, teaching a class with new material and forgetting my pills one night. Based on all this, I'm going to declare the combination of my new medication and kinesiology a success.

'Strength is the outcome of need.' – H.G. Wells

I'm playing mind games with myself at the moment. This always happens after I've had a prolonged illness or condition. I get hyper-sensitive to signs that the condition might be coming back. So because I've had such persistent and debilitating migraines for the past few months, I'm trying to look for any sign that I might be getting a migraine while simultaneously trying to enjoy every migraine-free moment. I know this vigilant dual-personality will ease as the new medication and kinesiology brings consistent improvements, but for now there's a lot going on in my head. Despite that I'm extremely grateful that things are improving and I've come through it ok. They say adversity makes you stronger so maybe this has added another age ring to my core and toughened me for the next round of adversity.

'One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore.' – André Gide

I've had three kinesiology appointments now and they've all been very different. The first involved a lot of talking. She made statements like, 'I believe I can get over this problem' and 'I want to get over this problem,' and observed how my body reacted to them. I felt very emotional the night after and did a lot of crying and thinking about issues she had brought up. I thought about the depressed state and negative mindset I was falling into from the endless migraines. Forgiveness and suppression were also key themes so I started thinking about forgiving my mum for a traumatic event that happened in our family a few years ago, just before my first bought of relentless migraines. I also began thinking about forgiveness of my husband's and my part in the shake-up of our marriage last year. Finally, I thought about how I suppress my true quirkiness and desires in order to seem more stable and sensible. Over the following weeks, I began to feel more positive as the unremitting migraines began to ease.

After the second appointment, about three weeks ago, I didn't cry all night or have any major epiphanies, but I kept working on the same issues. In that appointment she used some pressure points and tuning forks and some more emotive statements. She identified suppressed anger as a source of tension. I began keeping an anger diary to record when I felt angry and what I could do about it. I also came to terms with forgiving my mum and initiated a tearful, cathartic conversation. The migraines continued to abate to about one mild episode per week. I was pretty good about doing the yoga-like rhythmic movements she recommended, which were calming and centring.

Today's session involved lots of different pressure points, some massage and muscle manipulation. She continued identifying problem patterns in my thinking such as my habit of inhibiting myself and denying the negative sides of my personality. I am continuing to work on dealing with my anger and not feeling shattered or endangered when others express anger. Also, I will continue the rhythmic movements and meditating on forgiveness with a goal of totally forgiving my husband so we can properly move on. I will continue to track the frequency and severity of the migraines, although it's not a scientific test of whether kinesiology cures migraines since I'm also taking a new, daily medication.

I had a positive experience with kinesiology, which brought many personal issues to light so that I can work on how I react to them. I don't know if I'll go back for another session, but I left each session feeling soothed, positive and more relaxed than I went in feeling. Therefore, I think the whole experience was worthwhile even if it didn't miraculously cure the migraines overnight – a diminishment is a positive favourable too.

'A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.' – Elbert Hubbard

For the past few weeks I’ve been desperate from having migraine on top of migraine. It got to the point where I was willing to give anything a go. I almost went to my doctor for botox, which I’d already decided when I was healthy was not for me. I’m not comfortable having that virus, even if neutralised, injected into my body. I also almost investigated electro-shock treatments, which I had also ruled out in the past because it seemed too drastic and poorly understood. So I went with kinesiology. I had read mixed reviews about its legitimacy and effectiveness, but at least it was non-invasive and claimed to get to the base causes of the migraines.

I’ve been to two sessions so far and will go to one more. The recommended number of sessions is between three and five. I liked the idea that this would not be an ongoing, eternally money-draining treatment. After my second session, a little over a week ago, I felt no pressure from the practitioner to book another appointment, which was a nice change from other experiences I’ve had. 

The sessions themselves have been strange and mystical. I’ve had to keep an open-mind as the practitioner stood over me muttering to herself and moving her hands through the air. Other times during the session, though, she used pressure points, tuning forks and emotive questions. While I lay on the table and she directed energy around me, we talked about my past, my relationships, my mood and other possible contributors to this cycle of intense migraines. I didn’t know what to expect and was hopeful, but not sold on the possibilities offered by kinesiology.

Since my first session, I’ve begun to deal with the depression that was weighing on me as a result of the endless migraines. I’m keeping a diary to help me be more in touch with negative emotions, which I tend to suppress. I’ve been meditating more and working on forgiving my mum and myself for our parts in a traumatic family event that occurred several years ago. The stress from that time triggered my first spiral of migraines. I had a wonderful, honest, tear-filled conversation with my mum the other day and feel ready to properly move past that event. Now I’m beginning the whole process again for my husband and my parts in our marriage issues last year. 

I don’t know if these actions will cure my chronic migraines, but they will make me a happier, more secure person, which isn’t a bad thing. In the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling more positive about the future and about getting a handle on the migraines. I have had less frequent and less intense migraines. Some of that might be down to the new migraine medication I’m on, but some of these changes had begun before I started the medication and before the month-long ‘see if the dose is right’ period concluded. (On a side note, I don’t think the dose is right, but I’ll follow the instructions and wait another week before I raise it.)

So I would give a limited recommendation for kinesiology. You need to be accepting of alternative therapies, open-minded and you may end up working through some painful issues. If you think doing this will help you with migraines, or whatever else you’re suffering from, then find a registered (applied) kinesiologist and try it. 

'People grow through experience if they meet migraines honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.' – Eleanor Roosevelt

I haven't written on this blog for a while. This much is obvious from the dates of posts. I hadn't really thought about posting because this blog, like many other simple routines, went out of my head for the last month or so. I've been getting about two migraines a week and that, I think, has led to mild depression. One of those factors would limit my ability to write, but two has slowed word count  production right down, and I didn't even care. In fact, it didn't even register until about a week ago.

Now that the migraines are back to about once a week and things are looking up again, I'm back. I feel like I should tie up some loose ends from the past six months of this blog. Then I'll move on to new topics in the coming posts.

New Year's Resolutions:
Yoga/meditate – I have not got into the habit of doing it three times at week like I had planned. I manage about once a week, formally, then meditate informally whenever I can: on the tram, walking home, when it's quiet in the office, in the shower or before bed. I was loaned an excellent book recently called The 5-minute Meditator by Eric Harrison, which talked about ways to incorporate more meditation into daily life. I will keep striving for more yoga and meditation, less TV and internet time.

Water – I have accomplished this one. I am drinking at least 1.5L a day, often more. I will try to keep this up. Although I haven't noticed any miraculous benefits, I'm probably healthier for it.

Topomax – I am almost totally weaned off Topomax, but not onto herbal alternatives. Based on the past few months of horrific, regular migraines and my resulting inability to cope, I am going onto a new drug, Sandomigran. In the two weeks I've been on it, it hasn't cured my migraines, but they have eased. I can still raise the dose if I need to and my neurologist assures me there are other things we can try if this one doesn't work.

Alternative treatments – I've tried two and a half new ones by my count.
Regular acupuncture: Acupuncture with a chiropractic adjustment seems to help keep things loose and working properly, especially around the time of my period. Weekly acupuncture was a nice, little, relaxing treatment on a Friday night, but it didn't seem to do anything about the relentless migraine spiral I was in. It's too expensive to keep up without major benefits on the migraine front.

The elimination diet: It had no effect whatsoever unless you count the general cleanse. I learned some new recipes, tried some new foods and am more aware of preservatives, sulphites and other similar baddies in processed foods. In terms of migraines, there was no change.

Kinesiology: I'm in the process of trying Kinesiology to get to the root of my chronic migraine problems. I'll post more about this later, but for the moment I'll say that the treatment sessions are a bit unusual, but my practitioner makes some interesting points about trauma manifesting in the body, suppression of anger and other emotions, and depressive tendencies which I can see in myself.