'Every silver lining has a cloud.' – Mary Kay Ash

I went for my regular check-in with my neurologist this week. I was pleased to tell him that it's been weeks since my last migraine – it's so nice to be measuring in weeks, not days at the moment. On a friend's suggestion, I asked if fewer migraines could be a result of being on anti-inflammatories and codeine. The neurologist agreed that those drugs could be having a positive effect. He told me that they used to perscribe anti-inflammatories for migraines, but people experienced too many stomach and liver issues after being on them for extended periods. Once my hip is sorted and I'm off the anti-inflammatories, I'll have to see how the migraines are. Maybe there's an anti-inflammartory that's easier on the stomach. Maybe I could just take them when I feel a migraine coming on, rather than daily. The reduction in migraines is the silver lining to having this hip problem. Maybe anti-inflammatories will become a gold lining if they lead to another treatment for my migraines.  

'The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.' – Chris Pine

Today's neurologist appointment was a lesson in perspective. I'm down to a mild migraine per week. Compared to the past several months, that's a huge improvement. My neurologist pointed out that, even increasing my current dose, I may not totally rid myself of them. He said I should balance reduction in severity and frequency, no side-effects and one weekly migraine against several a week or going onto some other drug which may not work or causes worse side-effects.


So, how many migraines is too many?

'All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.' – Charles M. Schulz

I'm doing two things this week which will hopefully help the frequency and severity of my migraines. However, the fact that I'm doing anything different does indicate that I still want control over them despite starting to come to terms with the chronic, unending, incurable nature of them.

Firstly, I'm starting an Elimination Diet today (this is a link to a helpful website, and here's another one) to see if there are any foods I have been avoiding that I could be eating and any that I should now be avoiding. It's been about seven and a half years since I was diagnosed with chronic migraines and first did an elimination diet. At that time I found it really difficult and stressful – all the meals I made were bland and repetitive, I lost lots of weight and had low energy, and I started cheating ('reintroducing' foods like chocolate) earlier than I was supposed to.

This time I have spent almost a week thinking about why I'm doing it, figuring out what didn't work last time, making contingency plans and devising many meal options. I'm doing it because I'm sick of feeling like crap; I don't know if an elimination diet cleanse will help, but I'm hopeful. What didn't work last time was that I didn't have any treats so my sweet-tooth and lack of will power meant I cheated with chocolate. This time I have a list of things I'm still allowed, and have splurged on some nice tea, fancy vegetable chips, fresh herbs for extra flavour and fresh fruit juice plus I have frozen berries for desserts. Finally, I've figured out that I can still make lots of meals with only minor alterations – risotto because I don't use cream and butter anyway, I'll do without cheese this time; veggie stir-fry without capsicum; red Thai curry with minor adjustments; quinoa salad; yam lasagne without the tomato sauce and cheese might be ok; homemade sushi rolls without the soy sauce or mayonnaise and the list goes on. They won't all be brilliant, but they will be better than the unflavoured rice and two steamed veggies I was subsisting on last time I did the elimination diet.

Secondly, this week I'm going to see my neurologist to see what he suggests I do about medications. I don't want to stay on Topomax unless he can assure me that being sick with various colds, infections and tummy bugs for the past eighteen months is not a side-effect. Also, ideally I would be on something less serious, but given how poorly I have been coping the last few weeks on a lowered dose (2+ migraines a week, missing weddings and other social engagements, barely being able to think straight sometimes at work, sleeping or in pain while at home spending 'quality time' with my husband etc.) I may just have to accept whatever will make life manageable again. I need to keep reminding myself: treatment plan not a cure. If I find a medication to go with the love and chocolate, I'll stick with that because the alternative is not a life I can live.