'A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.' – Mark Twain

About once a week I wake up in the morning and feel very strongly that I don't want to go to work or writing class. I know lots of people don't like going to work or school – this is different. It's almost on the level of a physical repulsion. Sometimes I'm able to take time off, coddle myself and stay in bed. Usually I tell myself not to be a baby. That's what I did this morning, but as I was walking to the train station I got dizzy, weepy and uncoordinated. That made me wonder if my just-waking-I-don't-want-to-do-anything feeling was really an early warning system or a bizarre symptom of the impending migraine.

Does this happen to anyone else?

'You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.' – Margaret Thatcher

I'm always surprised when an anxiety attack hits. I'll be doing something mundane, then there it is. It comes out of nowhere, feeding on nothing logical and lasts for no pre-determined time. It's been months since my last bout of panic, since that gripping, heart-pounding doomsday feeling took over.

Today while I was editing and preparing a story for a competition entry, anxiety attacked. I felt overwhelmed and out of control despite the conditions of my reality being calm and autonomous. I put aside my rising panic long enough to submit the story, ignoring the voice in my head screaming that it wasn't ready. Then, when that didn't stop the attack, I went outside to weed the garden. In a surprisingly short time the act of having a definite, productive task with a measurable outcome calmed my mind. I think the physical exertion also helped. Now I just need to remember that and gain access to a garden wherever my next attack strikes.

What else do people do to combat an anxiety (or migraine) attack?

'Every moment in our lives is a miracle we should enjoy instead of ignoring.' – Yoko Ono

Something strange happened today. I don't know yet if it will lead to a migraine or not. Basically when I woke up I felt a bit off and took a Maxalt wafer. I functioned fine for the next several hours, then in the afternoon at work I started getting waves of tiredness and sore eyes. These spells often came with dizziness. It happened three or four times over the course of the afternoon. I felt this overwhelming heavy headedness and my eyes felt strained, which is not uncommon at the start of a migraine. Then (miraculously?) it would go away again and I was fine until an hour or so later when it would happen again. I'm having a quiet night at home and resisting all chocolate, alcohol or anything else that might trigger a full migraine.

'The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.' – Chris Pine

Today's neurologist appointment was a lesson in perspective. I'm down to a mild migraine per week. Compared to the past several months, that's a huge improvement. My neurologist pointed out that, even increasing my current dose, I may not totally rid myself of them. He said I should balance reduction in severity and frequency, no side-effects and one weekly migraine against several a week or going onto some other drug which may not work or causes worse side-effects.


So, how many migraines is too many?